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Broken families

Is it too easy to get a divorce today ??? Reply

Last reply: 6th Apr 2012 / 28 replies / Post by Bigfoot

Replies

ree

Posted by: ree
Posted: 16th Feb 2011

ree says: YES Reply

bexbex

Posted by: bexbex
Posted: 16th Feb 2011

bexbex says: I've never been divorced, but it seems easy. I think it is for the average celebrity, but the average poorer person, it's costly and stressful. But at the end of the day, it should be easy. What's the point in remaining married to someone you detest? Reply

Bigfoot

Posted by: Bigfoot
Posted: 16th Feb 2011

Bigfoot says: I have been twice divorced and because I didn't want to contest the first one it cost me our house, everything else we owned except the family car, the second divorce I was only notified on the day of the court appearance so I was unable to attend, threrefore it was deemed uncontested and once again my house was lost, the only things that I was allowed to keep were my clothes. Yes it can be very costly and traumatic for a while for our children who seem to be of very good character. I should add that I have now been happily married for 22 years. Reply

anna

Posted by: anna
Posted: 20th Jun 2011

Bigfoot says: I have been twice divorced and because I didn't want to contest the first one it cost me our house, everything else we owned except the family car, the second divorce I was only notified on the day...

anna says: Yes, it is too easy to get divorced. A couple these days know if it is not working don't try, we can get a pension & get out. No trying to work it out. Although on the other hand I was married for 20 years & what a breath of fresh air to be rid of him. The only argument was the lawyers. A woman can lose in the settlement big time, only thought the men could lose, but the hole in my pocket at the end, hell, easier to fly away & have a holiday. I have great health though! Great you are happy now! Reply

HeatherJM

Posted by: HeatherJM
Posted: 13th Mar 2011

HeatherJM says: logistics-wise, I think it is a relatively simple excercise for two people (with no children) to get a divorce; however emotionally I'm sure it is never easy.
The topic being broken families however leades me to say that divorce has been simplified to a simple process but there are always victims along the way who are hurt along the way. So what does easy refer to?
I think the process should be changed from one which seeks to remove hurdles to getting divorced to one that seeks to work with people in conflict and to build resilience and committment into relationships so that those hurdles can be overcome on the way to a stronger marriage.
Obviously in the cases where abuse is already being perpetrated there needs to be away forward for victims to be empowered and strengthened so that they can be resilient enough to leave an unhealthy abusive marriage Reply

annacathryn

Posted by: annacathryn
Posted: 16th Mar 2011

annacathryn says: Why shouldn't it be easy? Surely it should be as easy to "unmarry" someone as it is to marry them in the first place!? Reply

krew

Posted by: krew
Posted: 23rd Mar 2011

krew says: yes and no depending on how well ypu tackle each problem as it arises Reply

riaria0203

Posted by: riaria0203
Posted: 2nd Apr 2011

riaria0203 says: Yes! It's such easy money for lawyers as well. Just fill out the documents and you're officially single again! Reply

Dolly

Posted by: Dolly
Posted: 20th Apr 2011

Dolly says: Yeah thats true, but the kids always suffer in the battleof two adults who cannot be together so lets separate and make each other's life hard and forget about the kids (some of them) the rest use the kids to get what they want form each other. I believe this is not fair on the kids and as adults who brought these kids into the world should be responsible and reasonable and try to work things out after separation (divorce) and make an effort for their children. Reply

Bigfoot

Posted by: Bigfoot
Posted: 20th Apr 2011

Dolly says: Yeah thats true, but the kids always suffer in the battleof two adults who cannot be together so lets separate and make each other's life hard and forget about the kids (some of them) the rest use...

Bigfoot says: The first part of your comments seems on the face of it, to be a bit cynical Dolly. My youngest daughter by my first marriage does have a problem with having been left as a child, but not by me so she tells me. Her stepfather and her mother moved approximately 50 Kms away from where they all used to live, asking my daughter to go with them. She refused, as her work and friends were where she was currently living whereas my oldest daughter did not have a problem with it. The situation now is that my first wife, my current wife and myself get on famously. My second wife, my current wife and myself also get on famously. My first wife had to work at it a little as she was a little jealous but my second wife accepted it immediately. My second wife's daughter has turned out to be a fantastic mum as has my son by my second marriage. To sum it up, my wife and the ex's get along great, the kids have turned out Ok with one exception but it must be worked at for things to go smoothly. Reply

simmsy

Posted by: simmsy
Posted: 19th May 2011

simmsy says: I think it's too easy to walk away. Nothing in life is meant to be really easy and sometimes you have to work hard to make it work. I think couples should go through counselling first becasue sometimes the problem could be fixed, especially when there are children involved. Reply

lamyaa

Posted by: lamyaa
Posted: 24th May 2011

lamyaa says: I heard one time in the news the 1 out 4 in Australia get divorce......is bit sad to hear that it seems like getting divorce is easy. People should try a bit to keep their family togather espesially if they have childern. Reply

stretch

Posted by: stretch
Posted: 1st Jun 2011

stretch says: the best way to have it is live with them and if there is to many hassles then dont waist heaps of cash thet people dont have getting married and this goes for females as well as females
but yes it is very easy to get divorced
and heaps of us are more happier for this Reply

atlantic

Posted by: atlantic
Posted: 3rd Jun 2011

atlantic says: Yes for some people, because they think they have rights to do so, not knowing what the God Almgihty sets marriage for and how long it's for Reply

atlantic

Posted by: atlantic
Posted: 3rd Jun 2011

atlantic says: i don't think so myself, because i haven't been in the situation before and also why marry if they're not 100% sure that they're going to stay forever no matter what the circumstances will be.
Reply

19chris51

Posted by: 19chris51
Posted: 9th Jun 2011

19chris51 says: YES, it is too darn easy, I was divorced 27 years ago, it was so easy I did`nt realised it had been granted, until a clerk told me I should go now, and guess what its easier now, go figure, no one tries to mend a problem, they just move on, My ex husband was the same Reply

Hansy

Posted by: Hansy
Posted: 11th Jun 2011

19chris51 says: YES, it is too darn easy, I was divorced 27 years ago, it was so easy I did`nt realised it had been granted, until a clerk told me I should go now, and guess what its easier now, go figure, no one...

Hansy says: I don't know why people get married in the first place,you know they have this huge wedding with reception and all,they have said thier vows,and i can gaurantee they don't know what it means what they have said.I am a staunch believer in vows or promises,why the hell say them if one or the other can't uphold them.It beggers believe that you go through all of this,to only at a latter date disregard the sanctoms of marriage.Love him/her in sickness in health/for richer or poorer till death do us part what a joke. Reply

19chris51

Posted by: 19chris51
Posted: 13th Jun 2011

Hansy says: I don't know why people get married in the first place,you know they have this huge wedding with reception and all,they have said thier vows,and i can gaurantee they don't know what it means what...

19chris51 says: Hansy I agree with you, to many people disreguard their promises, and it hurts the other person, never lone the CHILDREN of these unions.It took me a darn long time to get over it,, and its harder for the kids, when they are little, they think it is their faults, it took a long time for me to convince them it was not, the trouble is, the kids don`t have a dad, well they do but he is more interested in his other family, he really just became friends with them right before he died, ironic I would think?????? Reply

hoppy55555

Posted by: hoppy55555
Posted: 20th Jun 2011

hoppy55555 says: This is one subject that has never had winners.I was brought up by a single mother,from 6years old.My father was a man whom drank to much.He would then arrive at the two roomed fibro house 6 of us lived in.He would then yell and hit us all.That is why for the next 10 years we moved every three to six months.My poor mother kept going through the same thing over and over.We were brought up with nothing.I was told that I am a retired APO.I do not remember.The defense force pension does let me survive. Reply

matt

Posted by: matt
Posted: 8th Aug 2011

matt says: i think legally is pretty easy to get a divorce, but its hard to live with it afterwards, especially if there are kids involved. Thats why most people would try to work it out. Reply

broadybob

Posted by: broadybob
Posted: 18th Aug 2011

broadybob says: It is. However; it is a bleessing in disguise.

If a marriage is coming to an end (upon mutual agreement) then wrap things up quickly and get on with life. That's what I did. Reply

mermaid

Posted by: mermaid
Posted: 18th Aug 2011

mermaid says: I have experienced seperation divorced and hardship of friends and family when discontentment creeps in their marriage. The one thing they have all sought from me is support to affect their children's ability to accept what is happening from a mep view mental, emotional and physical.
What each couple have not recognised is their ability to truly communicate and honor their needs hence the breakdown of their marriage. When they stand back and reflect on this each of them have come together in unison and remain a family for the betterment of all.

However, it is not always the case, my personal view is to find someone who will be your rock who will not judge and just allow you to share and upon doing so you will always find a counsellor who appeals to both. It doesn't have to be costly there are counsellors out there who do not charge a fee and focus on the wellbeing of both couples needs. Am I seperated or divorced no and I plan on staying married for the remainder of my twilight years.... Reply

paradox

Posted by: paradox
Posted: 20th Nov 2011

mermaid says: I have experienced seperation divorced and hardship of friends and family when discontentment creeps in their marriage. The one thing they have all sought from me is support to affect their...

paradox says: Hi mermaid, I see you have your Bag ready just in case? Just kidding. Most of what you say holds true for me except that 2 of my children are divorced and look after my grandchildren as single parents. My sons wife badly mistreated their kids and if it wasn't for some alert neighbours the mistreatment would have lasted a lot longer. Getting sole custody was an epic battle that lasted six years and is finally over. my Daughter was badly treated by her husband and since the divorce has continually avoided paying his share. My darling and I help out as much as we can, but we feel that our grandchildren should have a whole family unit as should all children. we are married for 45 years and have our share of disagreements but work it out in the end. Reply

Kirst

Posted by: Kirst
Posted: 20th Aug 2011

Kirst says: Yes, it is far too easy. In some respects this is a good thing, as in the past women would have stayed in unhappy, abusive marriages, for the sake of the kids, or for financial security.
But yes, it does make it easier to give up on a relationship, that could have been saved with a little work, because women now have more options, and because of feminism believe they dont need a man, and can do everything themselves. This may be the case for some, but not everyone. Reply

Kirst

Posted by: Kirst
Posted: 20th Aug 2011

Kirst says: Yes, it is far too easy. In some respects this is a good thing, as in the past women would have stayed in unhappy, abusive marriages, for the sake of the kids, or for financial security.
But yes, it does make it easier to give up on a relationship, that could have been saved with a little work, because women now have more options, and because of feminism believe they dont need a man, and can do everything themselves. This may be the case for some, but not everyone. Reply

jasper

Posted by: jasper
Posted: 3rd Nov 2011

jasper says: I wonder if the question should be "is it too easy to get married today?" There is a tendency for people to follow the culture of celebrity and consequently follow the trend set by these people with marrying on a whim and divorcing ona whim or for whatever publicity it brings them Reply

champagne

Posted by: champagne
Posted: 17th Jan 2012

champagne says: Yes! I am in a Civil Union. And have heard its even easier to get annulled than the traditional marriage agreement. Apparently there is no waiting time after the separation with a Civil Union, apparently it is just a matter of signing the paper freeing both parties from the agreement. Reply

sibbu

Posted by: sibbu
Posted: 6th Apr 2012

sibbu says: Yes it is easy, but I don't feel that is the point. The fact that it is easy is a blessing for some, who are trapped in a relationship that has turned violet and destructive. It is far better to break out of that for your sanity and well being. I am from a broken home, due to my father's wandering eye, and I suspect many marriages include a partner (usually male) without the emotional intelligence to put their family first. I've heard it said that the best thing for a child is for a father to keep loving its mother. Reply

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