Cafe Chat Discussion

  • Bigfoot
    Bigfoot
    Posted on:
    15th Feb 2011 10:46pm

    Last Post 6th Apr 2012
    Replies     28

    Broken families

    Is it too easy to get a divorce today ???

  • ree
    ree
    Posted on:
    16th Feb 2011 09:08am

    ree says: YES

  • bexbex
    bexbex
    Posted on:
    16th Feb 2011 12:34pm

    bexbex says: I've never been divorced, but it seems easy. I think it is for the average celebrity, but the average poorer person, it's costly and stressful. But at the end of the day, it should be easy. What's the point in remaining married to someone you detest?

  • Bigfoot
    Bigfoot
    Posted on:
    16th Feb 2011 01:36pm

    Bigfoot says: I have been twice divorced and because I didn't want to contest the first one it cost me our house, everything else we owned except the family car, the second divorce I was only notified on the day of the court appearance so I was unable to attend, threrefore it was deemed uncontested and once again my house was lost, the only things that I was allowed to keep were my clothes. Yes it can be very costly and traumatic for a while for our children who seem to be of very good character. I should add that I have now been happily married for 22 years.

  • anna
    anna
    Posted on:
    20th Jun 2011 09:52pm

    Bigfoot says: I have been twice divorced and because I didn't want to contest the first one it cost me our house, everything else we owned except the family car, the second divorce I was only notified on the day...

    anna says: Yes, it is too easy to get divorced. A couple these days know if it is not working don't try, we can get a pension & get out. No trying to work it out. Although on the other hand I was married for 20 years & what a breath of fresh air to be rid of him. The only argument was the lawyers. A woman can lose in the settlement big time, only thought the men could lose, but the hole in my pocket at the end, hell, easier to fly away & have a holiday. I have great health though! Great you are happy now!

  • HeatherJM
    HeatherJM
    Posted on:
    13th Mar 2011 12:59pm

    HeatherJM says: logistics-wise, I think it is a relatively simple excercise for two people (with no children) to get a divorce; however emotionally I'm sure it is never easy.
    The topic being broken families however leades me to say that divorce has been simplified to a simple process but there are always victims along the way who are hurt along the way. So what does easy refer to?
    I think the process should be changed from one which seeks to remove hurdles to getting divorced to one that seeks to work with people in conflict and to build resilience and committment into relationships so that those hurdles can be overcome on the way to a stronger marriage.
    Obviously in the cases where abuse is already being perpetrated there needs to be away forward for victims to be empowered and strengthened so that they can be resilient enough to leave an unhealthy abusive marriage

  • annacathryn
    annacathryn
    Posted on:
    16th Mar 2011 05:39pm

    annacathryn says: Why shouldn't it be easy? Surely it should be as easy to "unmarry" someone as it is to marry them in the first place!?

  • krew
    krew
    Posted on:
    23rd Mar 2011 02:09pm

    krew says: yes and no depending on how well ypu tackle each problem as it arises

  • riaria0203
    riaria0203
    Posted on:
    2nd Apr 2011 12:32am

    riaria0203 says: Yes! It's such easy money for lawyers as well. Just fill out the documents and you're officially single again!

  • Dolly
    Dolly
    Posted on:
    20th Apr 2011 08:24am

    Dolly says: Yeah thats true, but the kids always suffer in the battleof two adults who cannot be together so lets separate and make each other's life hard and forget about the kids (some of them) the rest use the kids to get what they want form each other. I believe this is not fair on the kids and as adults who brought these kids into the world should be responsible and reasonable and try to work things out after separation (divorce) and make an effort for their children.

  • Bigfoot
    Bigfoot
    Posted on:
    20th Apr 2011 09:46am

    Dolly says: Yeah thats true, but the kids always suffer in the battleof two adults who cannot be together so lets separate and make each other's life hard and forget about the kids (some of them) the rest use...

    Bigfoot says: The first part of your comments seems on the face of it, to be a bit cynical Dolly. My youngest daughter by my first marriage does have a problem with having been left as a child, but not by me so she tells me. Her stepfather and her mother moved approximately 50 Kms away from where they all used to live, asking my daughter to go with them. She refused, as her work and friends were where she was currently living whereas my oldest daughter did not have a problem with it. The situation now is that my first wife, my current wife and myself get on famously. My second wife, my current wife and myself also get on famously. My first wife had to work at it a little as she was a little jealous but my second wife accepted it immediately. My second wife's daughter has turned out to be a fantastic mum as has my son by my second marriage. To sum it up, my wife and the ex's get along great, the kids have turned out Ok with one exception but it must be worked at for things to go smoothly.

  • simmsy
    simmsy
    Posted on:
    19th May 2011 04:21pm

    simmsy says: I think it's too easy to walk away. Nothing in life is meant to be really easy and sometimes you have to work hard to make it work. I think couples should go through counselling first becasue sometimes the problem could be fixed, especially when there are children involved.

  • lamyaa
    lamyaa
    Posted on:
    24th May 2011 11:22pm

    lamyaa says: I heard one time in the news the 1 out 4 in Australia get divorce......is bit sad to hear that it seems like getting divorce is easy. People should try a bit to keep their family togather espesially if they have childern.

  • stretch
    stretch
    Posted on:
    1st Jun 2011 01:56pm

    stretch says: the best way to have it is live with them and if there is to many hassles then dont waist heaps of cash thet people dont have getting married and this goes for females as well as females
    but yes it is very easy to get divorced
    and heaps of us are more happier for this

  • atlantic
    atlantic
    Posted on:
    3rd Jun 2011 02:25pm

    atlantic says: Yes for some people, because they think they have rights to do so, not knowing what the God Almgihty sets marriage for and how long it's for

  • atlantic
    atlantic
    Posted on:
    3rd Jun 2011 02:29pm

    atlantic says: i don't think so myself, because i haven't been in the situation before and also why marry if they're not 100% sure that they're going to stay forever no matter what the circumstances will be.


  • 19chris51
    19chris51
    Posted on:
    9th Jun 2011 09:36pm

    19chris51 says: YES, it is too darn easy, I was divorced 27 years ago, it was so easy I did`nt realised it had been granted, until a clerk told me I should go now, and guess what its easier now, go figure, no one tries to mend a problem, they just move on, My ex husband was the same

  • Hansy
    Hansy
    Posted on:
    11th Jun 2011 04:52pm

    19chris51 says: YES, it is too darn easy, I was divorced 27 years ago, it was so easy I did`nt realised it had been granted, until a clerk told me I should go now, and guess what its easier now, go figure, no one...

    Hansy says: I don't know why people get married in the first place,you know they have this huge wedding with reception and all,they have said thier vows,and i can gaurantee they don't know what it means what they have said.I am a staunch believer in vows or promises,why the hell say them if one or the other can't uphold them.It beggers believe that you go through all of this,to only at a latter date disregard the sanctoms of marriage.Love him/her in sickness in health/for richer or poorer till death do us part what a joke.

  • 19chris51
    19chris51
    Posted on:
    13th Jun 2011 01:44pm

    Hansy says: I don't know why people get married in the first place,you know they have this huge wedding with reception and all,they have said thier vows,and i can gaurantee they don't know what it means what...

    19chris51 says: Hansy I agree with you, to many people disreguard their promises, and it hurts the other person, never lone the CHILDREN of these unions.It took me a darn long time to get over it,, and its harder for the kids, when they are little, they think it is their faults, it took a long time for me to convince them it was not, the trouble is, the kids don`t have a dad, well they do but he is more interested in his other family, he really just became friends with them right before he died, ironic I would think??????

  • hoppy55555
    hoppy55555
    Posted on:
    20th Jun 2011 01:19pm

    hoppy55555 says: This is one subject that has never had winners.I was brought up by a single mother,from 6years old.My father was a man whom drank to much.He would then arrive at the two roomed fibro house 6 of us lived in.He would then yell and hit us all.That is why for the next 10 years we moved every three to six months.My poor mother kept going through the same thing over and over.We were brought up with nothing.I was told that I am a retired APO.I do not remember.The defense force pension does let me survive.

  • matt
    matt
    Posted on:
    8th Aug 2011 06:50pm

    matt says: i think legally is pretty easy to get a divorce, but its hard to live with it afterwards, especially if there are kids involved. Thats why most people would try to work it out.

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