Cafe Chat Discussion

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    25th Nov 2010 06:39am

    Last Post 17th Aug 2013
    Replies     12

    Families

    Why have families changed so much and are these changes linked with societal breakdowns?

  • safestreetsecurity
    safestreetsecurity
    Posted on:
    28th Nov 2010 01:17pm

    safestreetsecurity says: Hi I feel the family breakdown is manly from children they spend learning time at school and they don't teach the fundamentals at school any more
    Respect and discipline with out this it is hard to teach any other values
    I know some children will find all this by them self but they only make up about 15% so the other 85% will have a hard time fitting into society

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    1st Dec 2010 08:32am

    safestreetsecurity says: Hi I feel the family breakdown is manly from children they spend learning time at school and they don't teach the fundamentals at school any more
    Respect and discipline with out this it is...

    Jewels says: I believe many values including respect and self discipline are learnt in the early years before children attend school. While I agree that life skills should be included in formal education unless these values are supported at home they will not become part of the individuals set of values or at least are unlikely to. I was a teacher I have 2 post graduate degrees and, perhaps even more important a parent of my 3 sons. It is interesting to note that teachers and schools now have very little power to ensure that even school rules are followed - without parent backup the school has no power. While I certainly believe in ensuring children are safe and that individual teachers also display respect and care the class room is becoming more and more difficult to facilitate learning in.

  • wazza
    wazza
    Posted on:
    30th Nov 2010 07:27pm

    wazza says: Familt structures have changed over many years due to our liberalisation of family values in that it is very common for couples to live together yet not fully committ to each other.As a consequence any children bought in this situation lose the social fabric of family life.

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    1st Dec 2010 08:38am

    wazza says: Familt structures have changed over many years due to our liberalisation of family values in that it is very common for couples to live together yet not fully committ to each other.As a consequence...

    Jewels says: While I agree that ideally families be made up fo 2 parents and children all committed and in love and care the term "liberalistaion of family values" appears to blame the victims so to speak - as in not all family break-ups are due to lack of committment. Children are better of brought up by one parent than in an abusive relationship. Abuse is not always physical, life can be made miserable by through many means which are abusive of an individuals well being. Children require a loving environment and sometimes this is better provided by one parent.
    Unfortunately families now do not have the benefit of the extended family support due to work committments and workplaces not valueing families.

  • wazza
    wazza
    Posted on:
    2nd Dec 2010 07:51pm

    Jewels says: While I agree that ideally families be made up fo 2 parents and children all committed and in love and care the term "liberalistaion of family values" appears to blame the victims so to speak - as...

    wazza says: The term I used "liberalisation of family values" in no way reflected on any break-ups of family life,I really meant that couples have so many committments in their jobs,social & sporting activities that relationships with children can side-lined or less important than social interactions.
    I agree that many single parents have a great relationship with their children but all you need is to read the newspapers or watch tv to see that there many cases where the "loving" relationship is missing in the family structure.

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    4th Apr 2013 07:23am

    wazza says: The term I used "liberalisation of family values" in no way reflected on any break-ups of family life,I really meant that couples have so many committments in their jobs,social & sporting...

    Jewels says: Sorry Wazza yes I agree totally also some parents (more and more I am afraid) have not been parented themselves so do not know how to parent. While I am certainly against people collecting monies that they are not entitled to I wonder at Government pushes of parents into paid work. I believe parenting to be one of the most important employments a person can have. Maybe attaching compulsory playgroups which also teach parents skills would benefit our society better.


  • Ralphy
    Ralphy
    Posted on:
    8th Dec 2010 12:31pm

    Ralphy says: Let me begin by saying that i grew up in a healthy house with two parents and two siblings, not a divorced household, not a drug house or parents that had addictions or were abussive. I was born in the late 60's and we were raised to respect our elders, the Police, teachers and others in any profession. We were taught that it is wrong to lie, steal or cheat and if we did get into trouble we were punished accordingly with a whack over the ear or a kick in the backside and if we were sent to our room it was punishment, there wasn't play sytations xboxes and other elctronic anti social things available to us. We were permitted to play outside until the street lights came on then it was time for dinner, we had a proper meal put in front of us and we ate it, even if we didn't likepeas lol. When we got in trouble at school, there was consequences at home. Same if we got told off by the Police (and we would never ever think of talking back to Police) then fair chance when we got home, we would get a kick in the ass again. We were taught to treat people with respect and to protect those weaker than ourselves and never ever hit a female. Swearing in front of our parents would have been something that never crossed our minds. It was a normal house. Not rich, not poor but middle class family. Now look at today's youth, and Im not talking all of them, they have no respect for anyone and most times this includes themselves. They drink, take drugs, swear, drop out of school because they don't like the discipline. I spent 13 yrs in the Police and the amount of times that I have had a "kid" aged from 8 yrs up to 16 yrs swear at me, be disrespectful to me, be under the influence of drugs and or alcohol was incredible, it was more the norm that the exception. Kids would be out at all hours of the night and if we took them home their parents would just shrug their shoulders and sigh like it is all too hard or there would be the others who would then abuse us for doing this to their kid. No wonder kids are like that when their parents set that example. Long winded I know sorry but the bottom line is that it is breaking down because kids are not taught respect or discipline these days. They have mobile phones and other expensive gadgets, they have more freedom to go and do what they want when they want and they have less respect. Sure lots have broken homes these days but that is an excuse not a reason. I know plenty of single parents who ensure their children are taught the basic family values and respect and discipline. We have unfortunately made our bed, now we all have to lay in it. Families haven't really changed, the values have.

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    4th Apr 2013 07:28am

    Ralphy says: Let me begin by saying that i grew up in a healthy house with two parents and two siblings, not a divorced household, not a drug house or parents that had addictions or were abussive. I was born...

    Jewels says: Yes Ralph I agree that these problems have increased.My mum brought us up on her own and we have never been in trouble with the law in fact my brother is a Barrister (not always proof of lawfulness I know), my sister a psychologist with Doctorate and as previously mentioned I was a teacher. I do believe that parenting is not valued and that many parents now need training as in they need assistance in learning how to parent.

  • ebbybees
    ebbybees
    Posted on:
    3rd Apr 2013 08:20pm

    ebbybees says: I think familys have changed because people are not afraid to speak up when they are in a bad relationship and it is not taboo to have different dynamics to make up familys . There is no such thing as a normal family unit today.

  • Jewels
    Jewels
    Posted on:
    4th Apr 2013 07:30am

    ebbybees says: I think familys have changed because people are not afraid to speak up when they are in a bad relationship and it is not taboo to have different dynamics to make up familys . There is no such thing...

    Jewels says: Yes family constructions have changed and often for the better but are children getting the lessons they need from parents. I defineately do not mean corporal punishments but time discussed and consequences for actions.

  • ebbybees
    ebbybees
    Posted on:
    4th Apr 2013 10:45pm

    Jewels says: Yes family constructions have changed and often for the better but are children getting the lessons they need from parents. I defineately do not mean corporal punishments but time discussed and...

    ebbybees says: I think that children are missing out on life lessons from parents and watch too much tv and believe that a lot of what happens in soap operas is true to life and this is a shame because a lot of kids grow up thinking that the world owes them and they find it hard to do things for themselves.

  • gwenn
    gwenn
    Posted on:
    17th Aug 2013 08:22pm

    gwenn says: I know from personal experience the brakedown between family or even husband and wife gets worse every year as they bring bigger and better technology out, my husband of 20 years still wont use a mobile or computer and I do, so I totally see how I find it hard to make conversation as Im always on my phone or laptop.

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