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Where did you meet your man?

I'm a single 30 year old girl living in Sydney and can't seem to meet the right man! They all promise the world and deliver nothing...
Any suggestions? Reply

Last reply: 18th Sep 2013 / 35 replies / Post by Rainbow

Replies

Razorfish

Posted by: Razorfish
Posted: 15th Nov 2010

Razorfish says: Try joining a surf club Reply

jayne

Posted by: jayne
Posted: 24th Nov 2010

jayne says: i met mine through a chat sight have been happy ever since Reply

super88

Posted by: super88
Posted: 25th Nov 2010

super88 says: Just go out and do whatever it is that you enjoy doing.
If your lucky enough to meet someone, you'll have a head start with something in common. Reply

cat

Posted by: cat
Posted: 25th Nov 2010

cat says: be happy within yourself whatever and people will notice, Reply

Ralphy

Posted by: Ralphy
Posted: 1st Dec 2010

Ralphy says: When you least expect it, it will happen.... This is said often enough and I think it is true. Like a watched pot never boils, if you are looking you won't find him. It is when you decide that "stuff this, I'm just going to have fun" is when he may very well sweep you off your feet... does that still happen these days? lol.... I think the easiest is chat rooms (taking precautions of course)... in chat you get talk without all the nerves and everything that goes with it... you can be yourself and ask any questions you want and get a "feel" for the person before you even meet... if you "pick up" whilst out, it is physical attraction only and usually very quickly you can and do run out of things in common and things to talk about... with chat you build up the excitement level of meeting and you almost "know" each other when you do meet, the other side is that you can decide at any time that he isn't what you want so don't meet. Only have to be careful of players and cheats etc but they can happen when you meet someone in real life too.... Go the rabbitohs lol..... Reply

gardenbutterfly

Posted by: gardenbutterfly
Posted: 17th Dec 2010

gardenbutterfly says: Lower your sites!!!!!! Try for friendship first!!!!! And if all else try yahoo.com.au.

I met my second hubby this way. We got to know each other first and then it all just fell into place. We have been together 6 years and married one.

Good luck Reply

relish

Posted by: relish
Posted: 17th Dec 2010

relish says: I met my lovely fiance on zoosk but I had to sort through lots of rubbish first LOL, I was ready to give up, being 36, a single mum with a nine year old who has aspergers I was having no luck, so just be yourself and you will know when they are the one, enjoy yourself and accept yourself, and stuff anyone else who doesn't accept you just the way you are! I am so lucky we are getting married next year and our daughter just turned 3 months old today, so when it happens it happens fast LOL! keep faith, it will happen naturally! and usually oddly lol! Reply

CheryDJ

Posted by: CheryDJ
Posted: 17th Dec 2010

CheryDJ says: I met my hubby in a chat room, which since has been closed. I went to melb to meet him, then he came up here, then back to melb and packed to move up here....We married 2 1/2 years ago now....and we are both so happy.

Cheryl & Max Reply

Huskydog

Posted by: Huskydog
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! Just enjoy your independence and peaceful life... Reply

Lise

Posted by: Lise
Posted: 16th Jan 2011

Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! ...

Lise says: Hiya Huskydog,

Happy New Year!

Oh bravo! bravo! Huskydog.....am standing and applauding!

Well said! Here Here!

It is nice to be able to do what you like then you like, the independence is brilliant! Reply

DrAlphabatman

Posted by: DrAlphabatman
Posted: 18th Sep 2013

Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! ...

DrAlphabatman says: I am so glad to hear this being said. I am a 30 yr old single guy and have been for the passed 2 years. I feel society puts too much strain on being in a relationship and finding happiness as if it was hiding under a rock somewhere. The pressure this seems to create is mind boggling, and I see the pains that people undertake to try to "complete themselves" by finding someone else. Instead, focusing on myself for the last two years has helped me solidify what I want and need and what I expect from other people, and has made me happier than I ever have been.

I see people jumping from relationship to relationship without ever finding the time to figure themselves out. I see this as very unhealthy and usually creates problems later on in life. I have a friend who is in his 40s and is still struggling with being single after a hat trick of abusive relationships. I know he will get there and find joy in himself, but his reliance on others to make him happy has been his downfall.

Anyway, this advice is the best from Huskydog. "Just enjoy your independence and peaceful life" - it will all be over as soon as you bring someone else into it. Reply

kittymcl

Posted by: kittymcl
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

kittymcl says: I met my man through RSVP. The last 10 months have been the happiest of my life. Being a single mum with 2 kids, I thought I'd have no luck finding love, but we are now engaged and extremely happy. Reply

bren

Posted by: bren
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

bren says: Obviously I am coming at this issue from the other gender direction, but I found my first wife when I went to a restaurant with a friend on New Years Eve, and even though it was very busy the waitress serving the table found time to chat a little while taking the orders and serving the food, She gave me her phone number, saying she'd like to talk later if I wanted to. We ended up getting married 11 months later. We had two kids (now grown up with kids of their own) and the marriage lasted 13 years. It ended in divorce, but there were many happy times.
My second wife was conducting telephone surveys, and we just clicked - she asked whether it would be ok if we had a chat after she'd finished the survey since I was the last one for the day. We chatted, got to know each other, lived together for about 10 months then got married. She died after a long battle with cancer earlier this year after 17 years of marriage,
Without going into the precise circumstances, I believe have found someone else, also meeting her in her work capacity, and I am hopeful that too will in due course result in a long term relationship.
As someone said you don't necessarily find love by going out looking for it (that can end up making you feel depressed and disheartened) When the time is right, and you are least expecting it, love will find you ...
Reply

Rainbow

Posted by: Rainbow
Posted: 22nd Dec 2010

bren says: Obviously I am coming at this issue from the other gender direction, but I found my first wife when I went to a restaurant with a friend on New Years Eve, and even though it was very busy the...

Rainbow says: Thanks for your advice Bren, great to hear from a male perspective. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing but I'm glad you found happiness again. Like you say -when the time is right, and you are least expecting it, love will find you ... Reply

bren

Posted by: bren
Posted: 22nd Dec 2010

Rainbow says: Thanks for your advice Bren, great to hear from a male perspective. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing but I'm glad you found happiness again. Like you say -when the time is right, and you...

bren says: You're welcome Rainbow, and thanks for your condolences. Hope all works out with your new guy! Reply

Sharra

Posted by: Sharra
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

Sharra says: I met my partner on line using Lavalife. I had to sift through a lot of people I was not interested in until I found him but we have been together now for 6 years. I was not interested in appearance but in personality so I did not want to go through a big social scene trying to find someone.

the first thing I worked out was the sort of man I was looking for. Once I knew the type of personality I wanted I put a profile up and communicated with the men who contaced me. It is not hard being contacted. You put a picture up with your profile and you would be surprised how many men are looking for partners. I wanted a man who could communicate, many can't, and so email and online chatting was a good way to find that. If I thought I found someone I then arranged a very safe meeting place in a nice public area with lots of people, like a restaurant. That is when you find out if there is any chemistry. If that works as well then you just have to date and see if it will work.

It took me a few goes to find the right man but you have to look at each failure as a learning curve. Each one tells you something you are not looking for and helps you work out exactly what you do really want. It is not a simple matter of chemistry. In fact we can be attracted to the wrong sort of man by chemistry alone. You can be attracted to many men but only one might be the man you want to share your life with. Reply

Linda

Posted by: Linda
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

Linda says: Met my man through an internet dating site nearly four years ago. We are very happy although you do have to sort out the scum first. Reply

bronzzeAngel

Posted by: bronzzeAngel
Posted: 18th Dec 2010

bronzzeAngel says: well I was a bit older single and with kids, so going out was not an option. Not easily unless their father had them. Nor was inviting men over to my house when we all know stalkers exist and our luck is they would be the one we contact.

SO I join an online dating site and I set myself a few rules first before I even met these guys.

I wrote who I was, what I expected my life style to be and what I expected to find would suit me and my life. This I refused to compromise on as if I did I would find out that any relationship was doomed to fail. When looking at their profile I needed them to match if not mirror mine.
Eg dont look for a guy who likes to go out clubbing, if you have no interest in it at all, other wise you will find it will be a big issue in the future. But someone who loves chatting over coffee means we can have long conversations.

When meeting for the first time I would do so in a public place, where I didnt go to often eg a different shopping centre and met at a coffee place.
I also would have a friend ring if I was concerned and wanted a way out of the coffee date.

I found I got many friends this way as we had little in common but I also found my husband and we literally been close from day one, as his and my ideals have been nearly identical. Reply

Rainbow

Posted by: Rainbow
Posted: 22nd Dec 2010

Rainbow says: Hi ladies, I want to thank you all for your wonderful advice - you have some great stories to share. I have actually met a nice guy since posting on this forum so we'll just have to wait and see where it goes... wish me luck!
As Huskydog says though, if it doesn't work out...then it doesn't really matter! Reply

Trudes1

Posted by: Trudes1
Posted: 21st Sep 2012

Rainbow says: Hi ladies, I want to thank you all for your wonderful advice - you have some great stories to share. I have actually met a nice guy since posting on this forum so we'll just have to wait and see...

Trudes1 says: Test Reply

barbi

Posted by: barbi
Posted: 29th Dec 2010

barbi says: Hi Rainbow, I met my man many years ago through Scottish Country Dancing - I belonged to one of our town's local clubs. When I moved from my home town to another for further training in my chosen career I found they had a club there so I joined up and first night there, first dance [the Eightsome Reel]. and it was love at first sight. We are celebrating our 50th year of marriage. What are your hobbies? Reply

Laura-Anne11

Posted by: Laura-Anne11
Posted: 31st Dec 2010

Laura-Anne11 says: Try just relaxing and having fun, meeting friends through friends is always a common way, and thats how i found my man and its now 2 1/2 years later!
I wasnt even looking and it's like he came to me.
It's happened with a few friends of mine as well, so i do believe it works. Reply

Lise

Posted by: Lise
Posted: 16th Jan 2011

Lise says: Hiya Rainbow,

Happy new Year!

Well I can only agree, and if it helps you any, I have the same problem and I live in adelaide. I Might have to think of switching teams!!!! (joke)
I wish you all the luck in finding "the one". They do say there is someone out there for everyone, well I've meet a few that dont belong to me!

You're only a young'n hun :) plenty time.
Good luck :)

Lise :) Reply

Kiwi chick

Posted by: Kiwi chick
Posted: 9th Feb 2011

Kiwi chick says: The best way is to join something you are interested in as you will at the very least make new friends otherwise figure out what you value in a partner and then try and think where they are most likely to hang out. For example if you like someone athletic try joining a sports team, someone independent and home loving try cooking lessons. I met my husband through dance classes and he is my best friend which is more important to me than a lot of other criteria. Get to celebrate 30 years on Valentines Day!!!!!!!!!!!! Reply

bren

Posted by: bren
Posted: 10th Feb 2011

bren says: I have met a lot of friendly people on the Plenty of Fish dating site, and my daughter met her boyfriend on eHarmony. I used to think that these sites were tacky, but I have discovered how wrong I was.
Reply

Redskin253

Posted by: Redskin253
Posted: 18th Feb 2011

Redskin253 says: My best friend is looking for a companion. He is a member of RSVP if you want to take a look , AWGus is his screen name . I convinced him to give it a go as I know he wants to settle down and is lonely . Meeting the right one is hard but keeping positive , open minded and meeting new people is putting him in the right direction . Hope you find what your'e looking for . Reply

debs

Posted by: debs
Posted: 19th Feb 2011

debs says: Stop looking and just dio the things that make you happy, and then you will find the right man that likes doing the same thing as you.
Thats how I found my man and 20 years later still going.
Reply

Steph

Posted by: Steph
Posted: 20th Feb 2011

Steph says: I met my man in an on-line video game....yep, I just said that.
That said, we were friends first, for a long time actually. We established trust and open communication early on in the friendship. That has never stopped. Is he perfect? Nope. Is he my dream guy? Hooo yeah. He has all the qualities in a man that I ever dreamed of. He's handsome and is a native Spanish speaker too--BONUS!! Reply

Rocky40

Posted by: Rocky40
Posted: 7th Mar 2011

Rocky40 says: My man was my last years birthday present from my children, I had been single for over four years and enjoying my independence, but my son had a friend with a single dad that they thought would be a good match for me, so on my birthday last year they brought him around. They were right we hit it off right away and have been inseparable ever since . If your looking for love or friendship asks friends and family to set you up, they often know you better that yourself. I can highly recommend it Reply

Phoenixarizona

Posted by: Phoenixarizona
Posted: 18th Mar 2011

Phoenixarizona says: I met my man at a barbecue. I wasn't looking for love at the time either. There he was and the world stood still. five years on and haven't looked back :)
Don't worry hun he is out there just make sure you keep social and mr right will come eventually.
Sitting waiting at home for him wont do you any justices though.
Best of luck! Reply

XL

Posted by: XL
Posted: 5th Jun 2012

XL says: Friends of friends, similar interests and easy to meet a variety of people Reply

liz

Posted by: liz
Posted: 24th Jul 2012

liz says: OK this is an old post but will reply anyway. Church is always a great place to meet a decent man. I met my 2nd husband there and we know we have beliefs and values in common. You're right, a good man is very hard to find, and its true, stop looking and get on with having a life, and when you least expect it thats when it will happen. Remember, he's only a man and they will drive you crazy with dirty habits, farting in bed etc, but I guess they're worth it most of the time. Don't expect too much, they're only human.... All the best.

Reply

jkl421960

Posted by: jkl421960
Posted: 30th Aug 2012

jkl421960 says: I met my man 21 years ago through my ex husband. You could try some of your ex's to introduce to their friend? Reply

Ian

Posted by: Ian
Posted: 5th Sep 2012

Ian says: Just look around for all you know the right man is your friend, a neighbor, a colleague or your classmate. Most men will really promise the world, especially when they are courting, so enjoy while men courts you, its the time that man are good but once you are in already in relationship or living in you'll see the man will deliver nothing... In reality if your right man your looking is a perfect one.. You can't find it.. Man can do mistakes, each having weaknesses, find someone who can accept you for what you are and someone that you can love and accept him for what he is.. Its a matter of give and take, and a matter of accepting one's weaknesses or bad side... always remember you should not love the person because you need him.. but you should need the person because you love him with all your heart and he loves you.. and he needs you because he loves you all the way down with your goods and imperfections! Reply

marg

Posted by: marg
Posted: 12th Sep 2012

marg says: Join a group (walking, movie, dining etc) that interests you and go for the fun not the mate! Nothing is more attractive than a girl who doesn't need a man (but would still like one!) Reply

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