Cafe Chat Discussion

  • Rainbow
    Rainbow
    Posted on:
    12th Nov 2010 03:20pm

    Last Post 18th Sep 2013
    Replies     35

    Where did you meet your man?

    I'm a single 30 year old girl living in Sydney and can't seem to meet the right man! They all promise the world and deliver nothing...
    Any suggestions?

  • Razor
    Razor
    Posted on:
    15th Nov 2010 04:28pm

    Razor says: Try joining a surf club

  • jayne
    jayne
    Posted on:
    24th Nov 2010 10:19am

    jayne says: i met mine through a chat sight have been happy ever since

  • super88
    super88
    Posted on:
    25th Nov 2010 06:41pm

    super88 says: Just go out and do whatever it is that you enjoy doing.
    If your lucky enough to meet someone, you'll have a head start with something in common.

  • cat
    cat
    Posted on:
    25th Nov 2010 07:09pm

    cat says: be happy within yourself whatever and people will notice,

  • Ralphy
    Ralphy
    Posted on:
    1st Dec 2010 02:25pm

    Ralphy says: When you least expect it, it will happen.... This is said often enough and I think it is true. Like a watched pot never boils, if you are looking you won't find him. It is when you decide that "stuff this, I'm just going to have fun" is when he may very well sweep you off your feet... does that still happen these days? lol.... I think the easiest is chat rooms (taking precautions of course)... in chat you get talk without all the nerves and everything that goes with it... you can be yourself and ask any questions you want and get a "feel" for the person before you even meet... if you "pick up" whilst out, it is physical attraction only and usually very quickly you can and do run out of things in common and things to talk about... with chat you build up the excitement level of meeting and you almost "know" each other when you do meet, the other side is that you can decide at any time that he isn't what you want so don't meet. Only have to be careful of players and cheats etc but they can happen when you meet someone in real life too.... Go the rabbitohs lol.....

  • gardenbutterfly
    gardenbutterfly
    Posted on:
    17th Dec 2010 09:29pm

    gardenbutterfly says: Lower your sites!!!!!! Try for friendship first!!!!! And if all else try yahoo.com.au.

    I met my second hubby this way. We got to know each other first and then it all just fell into place. We have been together 6 years and married one.

    Good luck

  • relish
    relish
    Posted on:
    17th Dec 2010 10:46pm

    relish says: I met my lovely fiance on zoosk but I had to sort through lots of rubbish first LOL, I was ready to give up, being 36, a single mum with a nine year old who has aspergers I was having no luck, so just be yourself and you will know when they are the one, enjoy yourself and accept yourself, and stuff anyone else who doesn't accept you just the way you are! I am so lucky we are getting married next year and our daughter just turned 3 months old today, so when it happens it happens fast LOL! keep faith, it will happen naturally! and usually oddly lol!

  • CheryDJ
    CheryDJ
    Posted on:
    17th Dec 2010 10:48pm

    CheryDJ says: I met my hubby in a chat room, which since has been closed. I went to melb to meet him, then he came up here, then back to melb and packed to move up here....We married 2 1/2 years ago now....and we are both so happy.

    Cheryl & Max

  • Huskydog
    Huskydog
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 03:18am

    Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
    It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! Just enjoy your independence and peaceful life...

  • Lise
    Lise
    Posted on:
    16th Jan 2011 07:14pm

    Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
    It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! ...

    Lise says: Hiya Huskydog,

    Happy New Year!

    Oh bravo! bravo! Huskydog.....am standing and applauding!

    Well said! Here Here!

    It is nice to be able to do what you like then you like, the independence is brilliant!

  • DrAlphabatman
    DrAlphabatman
    Posted on:
    18th Sep 2013 01:07pm

    Huskydog says: I am a happy single 60+ lady who doesn't need the 'right' man to 'complete me'!
    It is great to be independent - no arguments over the remote, putting the bin out or 'going out with the boys'! ...

    DrAlphabatman says: I am so glad to hear this being said. I am a 30 yr old single guy and have been for the passed 2 years. I feel society puts too much strain on being in a relationship and finding happiness as if it was hiding under a rock somewhere. The pressure this seems to create is mind boggling, and I see the pains that people undertake to try to "complete themselves" by finding someone else. Instead, focusing on myself for the last two years has helped me solidify what I want and need and what I expect from other people, and has made me happier than I ever have been.

    I see people jumping from relationship to relationship without ever finding the time to figure themselves out. I see this as very unhealthy and usually creates problems later on in life. I have a friend who is in his 40s and is still struggling with being single after a hat trick of abusive relationships. I know he will get there and find joy in himself, but his reliance on others to make him happy has been his downfall.

    Anyway, this advice is the best from Huskydog. "Just enjoy your independence and peaceful life" - it will all be over as soon as you bring someone else into it.

  • kittymcl
    kittymcl
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 09:43am

    kittymcl says: I met my man through RSVP. The last 10 months have been the happiest of my life. Being a single mum with 2 kids, I thought I'd have no luck finding love, but we are now engaged and extremely happy.

  • bren
    bren
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 11:03am

    bren says: Obviously I am coming at this issue from the other gender direction, but I found my first wife when I went to a restaurant with a friend on New Years Eve, and even though it was very busy the waitress serving the table found time to chat a little while taking the orders and serving the food, She gave me her phone number, saying she'd like to talk later if I wanted to. We ended up getting married 11 months later. We had two kids (now grown up with kids of their own) and the marriage lasted 13 years. It ended in divorce, but there were many happy times.
    My second wife was conducting telephone surveys, and we just clicked - she asked whether it would be ok if we had a chat after she'd finished the survey since I was the last one for the day. We chatted, got to know each other, lived together for about 10 months then got married. She died after a long battle with cancer earlier this year after 17 years of marriage,
    Without going into the precise circumstances, I believe have found someone else, also meeting her in her work capacity, and I am hopeful that too will in due course result in a long term relationship.
    As someone said you don't necessarily find love by going out looking for it (that can end up making you feel depressed and disheartened) When the time is right, and you are least expecting it, love will find you ...


  • Rainbow
    Rainbow
    Posted on:
    22nd Dec 2010 02:52pm

    bren says: Obviously I am coming at this issue from the other gender direction, but I found my first wife when I went to a restaurant with a friend on New Years Eve, and even though it was very busy the...

    Rainbow says: Thanks for your advice Bren, great to hear from a male perspective. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing but I'm glad you found happiness again. Like you say -when the time is right, and you are least expecting it, love will find you ...

  • bren
    bren
    Posted on:
    22nd Dec 2010 03:10pm

    Rainbow says: Thanks for your advice Bren, great to hear from a male perspective. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing but I'm glad you found happiness again. Like you say -when the time is right, and you...

    bren says: You're welcome Rainbow, and thanks for your condolences. Hope all works out with your new guy!

  • Sharra
    Sharra
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 12:46pm

    Sharra says: I met my partner on line using Lavalife. I had to sift through a lot of people I was not interested in until I found him but we have been together now for 6 years. I was not interested in appearance but in personality so I did not want to go through a big social scene trying to find someone.

    the first thing I worked out was the sort of man I was looking for. Once I knew the type of personality I wanted I put a profile up and communicated with the men who contaced me. It is not hard being contacted. You put a picture up with your profile and you would be surprised how many men are looking for partners. I wanted a man who could communicate, many can't, and so email and online chatting was a good way to find that. If I thought I found someone I then arranged a very safe meeting place in a nice public area with lots of people, like a restaurant. That is when you find out if there is any chemistry. If that works as well then you just have to date and see if it will work.

    It took me a few goes to find the right man but you have to look at each failure as a learning curve. Each one tells you something you are not looking for and helps you work out exactly what you do really want. It is not a simple matter of chemistry. In fact we can be attracted to the wrong sort of man by chemistry alone. You can be attracted to many men but only one might be the man you want to share your life with.

  • Linda
    Linda
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 02:33pm

    Linda says: Met my man through an internet dating site nearly four years ago. We are very happy although you do have to sort out the scum first.

  • bronzzeAngel
    bronzzeAngel
    Posted on:
    18th Dec 2010 06:29pm

    bronzzeAngel says: well I was a bit older single and with kids, so going out was not an option. Not easily unless their father had them. Nor was inviting men over to my house when we all know stalkers exist and our luck is they would be the one we contact.

    SO I join an online dating site and I set myself a few rules first before I even met these guys.

    I wrote who I was, what I expected my life style to be and what I expected to find would suit me and my life. This I refused to compromise on as if I did I would find out that any relationship was doomed to fail. When looking at their profile I needed them to match if not mirror mine.
    Eg dont look for a guy who likes to go out clubbing, if you have no interest in it at all, other wise you will find it will be a big issue in the future. But someone who loves chatting over coffee means we can have long conversations.

    When meeting for the first time I would do so in a public place, where I didnt go to often eg a different shopping centre and met at a coffee place.
    I also would have a friend ring if I was concerned and wanted a way out of the coffee date.

    I found I got many friends this way as we had little in common but I also found my husband and we literally been close from day one, as his and my ideals have been nearly identical.

  • Rainbow
    Rainbow
    Posted on:
    22nd Dec 2010 02:48pm

    Rainbow says: Hi ladies, I want to thank you all for your wonderful advice - you have some great stories to share. I have actually met a nice guy since posting on this forum so we'll just have to wait and see where it goes... wish me luck!
    As Huskydog says though, if it doesn't work out...then it doesn't really matter!

  • Trudes1
    Trudes1
    Posted on:
    21st Sep 2012 10:59am

    Rainbow says: Hi ladies, I want to thank you all for your wonderful advice - you have some great stories to share. I have actually met a nice guy since posting on this forum so we'll just have to wait and see...

    Trudes1 says: Test

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